Old clothes smell of nostalgia. I can pinpoint when I got this Zara dress; aged 16 with wonder if the fashion world in my eyes and a burn to prove my self worth. As the years have gone on, I'm coming to understand that the burn doesn't ever fade.
As a female in society, I face a lot of backlash in the name of misogyny. I have had the difficult task of untangling internalised misogyny (things I think about myself I.e I 'cant' do this because I'm a girl etc) and relearning of a world I have known for 19 years. It both may seem young and old as an age, but 19 has been my freedom year. It's a year where you don't have any more legal prohibitions lifted like driving a car or drinking, you're settling into a life where you make more of the rules and determine what you're doing with your life. As I've relearnt what it's like to be both a human in this world we live in, but also a woman I have come to understand a few things. And like this trusted dress I wear, it all seems to become heightened with emotion as we age together.
To be a woman in a world many are desperate to both move to a better future and stop from falling further down, I wonder why clothing is so crucial to us. For women to dress provocatively is 'asking for it' but dressing demurely is 'too frigid' and I'm tired of men (and women) attempting to label and scoff at how I, and my fellow women, decide to dress. We are turned into objects of sex; manipulated to feel the need to dress 'sexy' for others rather than to dress in a way we desire. We are made sexual, but as soon as we play up to this sexual nature we are labeled, shunned and disapproved of. We're unable to have nipples on show but the exposure of breasts are encouraged with chants of "TITS OUT FOR THE LADS!" How ironic. We deem people 'classy' or 'trashy' based on how they dress and display themselves - I understand in the fashion world, we have these things in order to work out what is good, bad and last season. However in a world of stick thin models playing dress up in a designers fantasy world, I'm curious as to why we desperately need to have things in black and white.
It's part of human nature I'm told to want to label and box things; it makes us more comfortable and stable knowing X is in Y and Z means W and only W. Sexuality is taught at schools only with the labels straight or gay and gender is never mentioned beyond what you were assigned at birth. To learn of the spectrum of sexuality (yeap, there is more than gay or straight, or even bi) and there are people out there who don't feel comfortable in themselves as female or male is unnerving. Not because of the
people who are beyond these 'school social norms' but because
we didn't know about it before. If we were taught younger of everything it is to be human, there would be less confusion to have things in black and white. There would be less confusion on sexuality and gender, because thats what it is deep down.
Confusion and fear of the unknown. We'd understand that women are equal to men and can do the things they do; we wouldn't shun our women of the world for dressing in a certain way nor would as many men think women were theirs to dominate. Because news flash - we aren't.
So when wearing this dress 16-year-old Lou grasped with wonder in a Zara store not far from home, she wasn't clued in on how everything she knew was never made to be in black and white. She never knew how powerful the word no is nor how important it was for her to keep that burn to prove herself burning like a wild flame.
Because passion is something my dear reader, is one we must hold on dear to. And just like 16-year-old me was wondering of the fashion world, filled with glee at a beautiful dress, she never knew a passion for fashion would spark a chain reaction into a world were so few understood their own souls. And just like the nostalgia that clings to this dress, I cling on to the hope that one day no 16-year-old girl will have to relearn of the world I and so many others have had too.
Lou x
