Predicaments of a Fashion Lover: HOW TO BECOME CONFIDENT, POWERFUL AND SUCCESSFUL

As I’ve hinted on the blog (or more like stated over and over again, that you’re probably getting sick of it. Soz bout it), the past year I’ve gone from lost girl with no clue what she wanted, who she is or how to live, running around London hundreds of miles away from her family for no reason other than escapism to sassy female who isn't afraid.

Now I know my sh*t. And now I AM the sh*t, god girls and guys, it doesn’t half feel good to feel confident in yourself.

So here are a few things which helped me feel more secure, confident and powerful. I hope they help you too!

1. Knowledge is Power

So this sounds a bit like I’m trying to entice you into becoming a ruler of the Galaxy and get you to embrace the force within, but honestly you never stop learning. You can finish high school thinking you know all there is to know from passing some exams, but every day you have the potential to educate yourself more. Being uneducated in the modern world when you have the opportunity (which you very likely will being able to read this) is kind of like pretending to be poor when you’ve got £100,000 in the bank. It doesn’t add up. So really, you should take the time out of your life to read more, watch some documentaries and think. Really think about stuff, and not just what someone said in the break room or the latest gossip rag story. That’s fluff that won’t get you forward. Really invest in yourself.

And when I say get educated, I’m not saying go study Austen or the Old Masters at length before bringing it up in the pub on a Friday night. No, I’m meaning learn more about human rights (that’s LGBTQIA+, women’s etc) and the things we as a team can improve on. Become more aware of sexuality and gender, racism around the world and how some things you say can be harmful. This isn’t me attacking you, it’s me sparing you being attacked. There’s no reason not to want to be a better human every day. Spread a little love huh? Oh and if you do want to chat Old Masters and Austen, go for it. Just make sure it isn’t when the footie is on.

2015 was a big year for progress, and feminism was front and centre. Brands were jumping on the girl power and feminism train like it was a trend, and to a point it was. But knowing your worth as a girl is super important and wont go out of style like pink eyeshadow or skinny jeans. It’s here to stay, because it’s part of you as a human being, you are as worthy as a guy and you can do a lot of cool sh*t girls. Realising this, getting it ingrained into your mindset is super important to becoming more confident and powerful. In moments of doubt, like ‘I can't do this’ or ‘I’m pathetic because’ try working backwards to why you’re thinking it. I can guarantee once you start thinking about it deeply, you’ll be able to shake yourself out of the negative mind-set and move forward positively.

“A #GIRLBOSS is someone who is in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it.”

#GIRLBOSS is a book I cannot recommend enough to anyone feeling hopeless over their future job prospects; it’s straight to the point, blunt and ballsy. Sophia doesn’t fuck around – she’ll point out the things you haven’t paid attention to and call you out on your bullshit. This book gets you off your ass and working. I was glued to it the day I picked it up, missing out on meals and the sun setting because I couldn’t.stop.reading. With self help books, it can be too soft, too positive, too fake but #GIRLBOSS makes you realise you can do anything. You can change your life one day and never look back; all it takes is getting up and DOING it. Sophia’s story of setting up Nasty Gal is admirable and really connects you to your own passion, as unlikely as they could be.

Want to feel powerful, capable and well… like a boss? #GIRLBOSS is for you. Don’t be scared. Just pick up and read. “You’re going to take over the world, and change it in the process. You’re a badass.”

Because there is nothing more satisfying as a girl than being told you’re a total badass, able to make up your own rules and throw the punches.

4. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Big Magic made its rounds on social media, with almost every blogger gracing their Instagram feeds with this colourful book. And it was for good reason.

For those who might not know, Elizabeth Gilbert is the woman behind EAT PRAY LOVE. Yeah, that movie with Julia Roberts in it eating gelato and ‘finding herself’. *Fun Fact* it’s the movie I watch when I’m feeling particularly worthless slash being plagued with wonderlust.

Anyways digressing. Big Magic is the book every creative soul needs, especially if you’re in a rut. We human beans overthink and overcomplicate things like CRAZY. You one of them? Yeah? Grab Big Magic and thank me later. Never has a book calmed me, pointed out the obvious we all overlook and get me thinking positively about writing/creating stuff I really want to create but for some reason fail to follow through. It’s a good kick up the ass we all need from time to time. The way I see it, we’re in a maze and can’t see the exit because everything looks the same. Big Magic is the person overlooking the maze with a clear view of which corners to turn the right way. It’s the direction you need when you’re lost. Don’t think you overthink and overcomplicate? No? Ok you’re in denial, go grab Big Magic and have your world turned upside down. Or is it turned the right way round for once? Who knows.

For a girl, getting your hair cut is dreaded. We’ve watched so many Disney movies that the idea of short hair makes us think we’re further away from being a beloved princess, and more towards a troll doll. But last March I turned 19 and decided the whole short hair thing wasn’t something I had to save for a truly terrible breakup, took the dive and lost 6 inches of hair.

I cannot recommend enough you do the stuff you want to do with your hair suddenly, randomly and happily. Was I scared shitless? Errr yeh. But the moment my hairdresser told me to stop being baby and look in the mirror was WOW. I felt like I was looking at the real deal me for once, not the crappy high school people pleaser. Going short is what I identify as my first step towards really loving myself. Saving short hair for the bad breakup reinvention? PU-LEASE. We don’t need boys being crappy to rock the Posh Spice bob. We just need confidence. THIS piece explains it in words I can’t even describe. READ girls! And give my girl +Katie Oldham a follow, a thumbs up and a gin for creating one of the many beautifully written pieces I've read during this journey.

I know, I know all you read on this positive posts is healthy diets and exercise blah blah blah but seriously, I’ve never felt better than I do when I’ve finished a run. After I went through first year uni, I had Freashmen Fifteen’ed like a motherfucker. There was no escaping it, heck I was eating packets of biscuits as meals, can you imagine? All that sugar and no working out? Ugh I don’t know how I did it; I can’t even eat biscuits or anything really sugary now. Not even cocktails, they’ve got to be sour and bitter than sugary and sweet.

I worked out during summer for something to do, mainly doing spinning classes, which make you feel invincible as hell. Seriously, you feel like you can’t make it half way through the class but once it’s finished you’ll want to fight in boxing matches and race Usain Bolt. They’re incredible. Once I started second year uni I picked up running again after two years barely putting one foot in front of the other, unless it was to the fridge or the TV remote. I couldn’t sleep after finishing late shifts at the bar I work, so I just started running late at night as a way to get rid of pent up energy and help me sleep. Then when I would miss out running a week or so, even three days, I felt really anxious so running became a fixture for me. Now I run every two days and it’s the best thing ever. I feel more alive, more productive and stronger than ever. In July 2015 in ELLE UK, Ellie Goulding spoke of how much she loved working out - “as a woman, keeping my body healthy and strong is really empowering. My legs could be slimmer, but I love them because they are strong”.

Reading that just struck with me, because after all the crap we go through in our lives, don’t we want to be stronger? More powerful? I mean you’re reading this now because you want to be, so why not up your workouts to beast mode and really challenge yourself? Become a #GIRLBOSS, grit your teeth and get on with it. No mucking around, really get into working out and be proud of yourself. And that’s not even touching on the aesthetics of working out regularly. That speaks for itself.

I know this is a long post and be now, you kinda want me to hurry up and finish. But this last point is super important. Without good company, you will feel lonely and sad. There’s no two ways about it; everyone needs the help of other human beings to become better humans. We need people to challenge us, support us, talk back, argue, agree, discuss, cry, laugh and dance with. With good company of other like-minded women you’ll feel more confident in yourself and supported.

Support your local girl gang, compliment your fellow women, help out your girlfriends and give a hand to the stranger on the train. One of the most amazing things we have, you and me, is the power of being a woman. We understand women, we know how to help and the bond we have with each other is indescribable. We are our first team and we can’t go all Troy Bolton on each other. We’ve got to bring each other up, more powerful than ever.

This isn't to say my life is perfect and everything is warm sunshine mornings and stress free Mondays. God no; but I'm better than I have ever been in my whole messy, emotional life. These things are just what I'm putting towards you as strongly advised suggestions. I think they helped and they're worth a whirl.