How To Make The Best Of Life This Valentines

It’s all too easy to get caught up in life’s rat race. We constantly try to better ourselves, create bigger and better things, improve on our yesterdays even if our todays end up the same. We’re filled with so much determination to be something we forget we’re already somebodies.

The world we live in travels currently at a speed we can’t keep up with; it’s fact. The resources, the space to expand upon, an inane rate we churn out trends upon trends in the fashion world we can’t keep up with no matter what the Instagram influencers tell us. Chucking out of the old and looking for the new, believing whatever comes next will always be better. We are never quiet; never take the time to let everything wash over us. Is that a flaw we have as humanity? Is there something wrong in wanting a better future, working towards that every day?

Is there a line when it comes to ambition?

The digitalisation of Planet Earth has created a new human mental phenomenon; Instant Gratification. The need to have what you want whenever you want – straight away in the moment you think of it. Think of the clothes you see on Instagram, no longer do you wait between seasons to buy the next seasonal trends. You can go online and buy the clothes, see social media stars wearing them, even buy the replica knock-offs at online retailers. We’re in an age we can basically have anything we want. But we refuse to work for it.

When I say this, I recognise not everyone fails to accept the idea of ‘working for what you want’ and when I say that, I mean really working. Not waiting on the next student finance payment I’m sorry to say. SAAS is a godsend, Lord above me knows I love the first Friday of every month when I can ease up on my scrounging (as unbelievable as it is, yes I do scrounge). But we are a generation where we don’t work like our parents have and as a result of this, we expect more. How many of us got fed up in high school, believing once we leave everything will fall into place? Didn’t you leave thinking you knew it all, the goals you had would become a reality as soon as you shed your school tie and blazer?  I left thinking that. And in the past year and a half I’ve had life kick me in the ass more times than I can count. I’ve become lost and I’ve messed up, and yes spent FAR too much money. (Retail therapy should really have it’s own therapy. I’m thinking a room to lock yourself in while you create a new hobby that doesn’t involve handing over a debit card.)

(Leather jacket and boots; Topshop, Blouse and Skirt; Urban Outfitters)

The Instantaneous Reward Idea is not only dumb as hell, but it’s harming us. We’re losing what it means to work for things, building up to something, have patience with life. For the love of all things holy and McQueen, we get into relationships thinking in a week there will be love and we will have a happily ever after. We treat relationships like an investment. Lemme say that one more time, because it’s true.

We treat relationships like an investment.

We’re scared to be vulnerable, to let someone know “hey I like you, I think this could be something great”. We’ve turned dating into a game, desperate for a match but never really getting round to being the first one to message. We beat ourselves up over our bodies, when really everyday they keep us alive. Yet we hate them for not looking like a model or a sports star (I’m looking at you lads and the crazy 6 pact pressure). We think of what could happen tomorrow, but never what life could be like in 3 years. We live for the now but what’s living if it’s through a screen? What’s living without working towards something, investing our time on a chance we’re willing to take?

How do we put up with bullshit people, the ones who talk about crap every day, or themselves everyday, or even nothing but snarky remarks everyday? Has love become the thing we’ve sacrificed in the pursuit for more? I think it has. I think we’ve become more robotic the more time we spend living in a world we can’t see beyond the screen on our phones.

I’m not having an Eat Pray Love moment in my life, but even if I was that is nothing to be ashamed of. I think I’m just having a moment where life is hitting me in the gut, hard. And I’m not sure what to do, except wonder how I can get better.

It’s not going to be instant, as gratified I would be if it was. Because when it comes to the real life things, the human moments of our lives, you’ve got to sit out and take a breather. It’s not a giving up and it’s not a fuck this.

It’s just me saying I don’t really know what to do now. But I want to stop beating myself up for not knowing anymore, as much as it sets my teeth on edge to admit.

Recent events have made me stop and take a hard look at what my life is like, how fragile humans are. And with today being Valentine’s Day, we all can become a bit more cynical about love and life if we’re without a significant other. It’s loneliness, a feeling of uselessness because we’re without when people are with. It’s missing out really, isn’t it? How Generation Z of us (if you’re part of the Millennials HOLLA). We suffer from FOMO as much as our mind set is stuck on Instant Gratification. What happened to us? Is there a cure?

 Right now I can only say a few things we can do with our fears of life. These are as followed. Be warned, it’s some tough talking.

Recognition for your work will take time. It could be days, weeks, months or even years. Sometimes yes, life won’t work out when your friends lives are #GOALS but Alan Rickman didn’t get his acting break until he was 41 so you’ve got all of the time in your life to succeed. You’re so young right now, ease up on yourself every now and then.

You are a dickhead every once and a while. You’ll expect too much from people, you’ll let your mouth run away from people and believe your friends owe every bit of tie in their life to you. You’re going to be a dickhead, you might even be one right now and not know it. Take a look at yourself and check yourself my friend. It’s not a fucking bad thing for crying out loud, it’s something you’ve got to do to progress as a person. Invest in you yeah? That doesn’t just mean treating you to a coffee on a shit day or buying fancy underwear on a Friday; it’s seeing your behaviour as problematic and fixing it. No one likes a dickhead.

Real Life Things can take a lot of patience and hard work, but it won’t be Real if there wasn’t any Hard Work, would it? DON’T GROAN OH MY GOD.  Like I said, get on with it. Get grafting like a #GIRLBOSS and make your hands dirty by the end of the day. Be proud of each of your accomplishments, no matter how small because they’re all going to amount to something in the end. Yeah, maybe not what you’re got in mind right now but in life shit happens for a reason, so roll with it and manipulate it to your advantage. TURN BADASS GIRLS. Get badass to fuck, don’t think a bit of hard work is for a man and your nails will get wrecked. You might not want to be on a building site, but it doesn’t mean you won’t graft like a boss.  And you can get your nails fixed at the end of the day so you give off that Has-It-All-Without-Trying vibe.

So I’m sorry if I’ve kicked the world from under you

 but I reckon you and I both needed that pep talk. Generation Z isn’t going to be like the past; for one we CANNOT ruin the housing economy, Lord knows how badly that fucked our parents up. So step back from thinking things are going to happen straight away and put a bit of work in.

And this Valentine’s remind yourself of one thing; in this world you are yours and yours alone first. Oh and maybe stick your neck out on the line when it comes to being vulnerable yeah? Get out the habit of screens and swiping right, our eyes need a break.

Lots of love,

Lou x