Predicaments of a Fashion Lover: MET GALA 2016 REVIEW // WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?

When I proposed the idea of doing a Met Gala review, I only had honesty and humour in mind. Therefore there will be no Kimye love here (the man wore JEANS to the MET GALA !!!! That I am allowed to be a snob over) and there will be no gushing tributes. This is because the Met Gala this year was a sea of silver and I’ve never been more disappointed. Not even when I heard Jourdan Dunn wasn’t going to be in the Victoria Secret Fashion Show last year, or when the last boy I dated said he had never heard of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I mean honestly. To emphasis this point of complete and utter disappointment, I received a text from my roommate asking “why do you keep saying hell no?” at 2 o’clock in the morning.

Before we go any further, I want this to be understood calmly and politely. This will not be a Vogue best dressed nor will it be a Buzzfeed cutesy clickbait article. This will be honesty mixed with humour, in the most attempted unbiased way. In return, I will attempt to refrain from using language such as “on point”, “literally so cute”, “I died” and “honestly I can’t even”. Glad we came to an agreement ladies and lads.

The Met Gala. For those who don’t know, the Met Gala is an event hosted by Vogue’s Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour to help raise funds for the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. Because #supportyourlocalmuseums people. Very important. Tickets cost from $25,000 and a table $75,000, however it’s said Anna Wintour will turn away people she doesn’t like or approve of. Very Devil Wears Prada but I’m here for it.

Alexander McQueen for Givenchy 1999

This year’s theme was ‘Fashion in the Age of Technology’ which sounds very intriguing and frankly, a gift for designers. The wackier the better, no? I’m thinking a mad flurry of LED lights and ‘future’ looking costumes, technology in use of creating the most exquisite gowns, Alexander McQueen for Givenchy A/W 1999 and a magical display of projects from only a designers wildest fantasy. The more outlandish the better.

Did I get that? Did I HELL.

This year it was ‘who-can-do-the-best-robot’ because technology is only a robot, obvs. Which translates to you and I mere mortals as silver dresses. Lots and lots of silver dresses. So many silver dresses I was starting to think Vogue had created a robot army to revolt against all things ‘on point’ and take over Planet Earth. I know Vogue has got it in it. This robot-wannabe-mind-set actually took full fruition in the form of Zayn Malik, as he attempted his best Bucky impression in the sea of silver warriors. Yeah, that actually happened. Like a last minute parent panic on Halloween as they make their way to primary school. GRAB WHAT YOU CAN AND MUMMY/DADDY WILL MAKE IT WORK SWEETIE.

I must confess here and now, some of those silver dresses were gorgeous. The design will interesting and very robotic a lá Ms Jourdan Dunn in Balmain. Another year done, another year she looked incredible. Kim Kardashian’s dress was also beautiful, but it’s Balmain and I’ve seen her in similar dresses a thousand times. Ditto with Miss Kylie Jenner. There’s a small part of me that thinks it’s the same dress Kylie Jenner wore to her mothers Gatsby-bash. Nothing incredible or mind-blowing yet. Gigi Hadid was in a dress designed by herself; it had sequins and I got a lot of prom vibes.

It's a no from me.

Taylor Swift was… um… Kind of where I was at aged 15. In the nicest way possible? Very grunge and ‘this IS the real me mom’ but instead of a mum it’s Vogue and instead of grunge, it’s just messy. And in the least snobby way, not Met Gala in the slightest. It’s more haute couture than Saturday night bravado, because when else can you wear lavish couture but at the Met? I don’t what happened to her when she found the bleach, but it’s a-something. Image change? Most likely, but it currently feels like it’s tanking (sorry Taylor, I want to like it). Vogue named her best dressed. Vogue didn’t really mention that at a Vogue event their current cover star Taylor Swift was also an honorary co-chair of the Met Gala. Isn’t it MADNESS how these things work?

Selena Gomez also looked similarly ‘not Met’ as her friend Taylor. Lorde looked like a fairy which I thought was adorable, because if you can’t work with the theme then go couture and make it gorgeous.

This was also seen in Nicole Kidman’s UNBELIEVABLE Alexander McQueen A/W 2016 dress, because this is a dress only the angels and God’s above could come up with. It’s heavenly and I’m so happy to be seeing McQueen being wore. There was also a few celebrities dress as Disney characters for want of a better description. I liked THIS article about it.

At this point I admit, I had lost hope. I was bored. It was nearly 2 o’clock in the morning British time and I just wanted to sleep, forget the whole thing happened. My Twitter feed was similarly quiet; it seemed everyone was waiting on something, anything. And then. Out of Nowhere, Claire Danes comes in.

(I say nowhere but dammit I was waiting for this dress).

THIS. DRESS. SAVED. THE. EVENING.

It makes Cinderella look like she’s coming to a rave and not a ball.

There will be some Important and Honourable Mentions of the following I liked/loved/found interesting at the Met Gala 2016 as followed.

#IHM 1 is Kristen Stewarts makeup and hair. In all honesty, I didn’t dig the hair and liked this Youtube video detailing what it looked like. Her silver eyeshadow I found really cool and her hair had braids and wasn’t done in a slicked back sleek way, which I can appreciate. And I’m aware ‘cool’ isn’t a very articulate word to convey how much I like this eyeshadow layout, and I’m more than aware it’s ‘just’ an eyeshadow, but it feels far more outlandish and couture fashion show than we see on red carpets. So I’m going to give it it’s dues, because I want to see more fun and exciting makeup as I’m tired of the contour and ‘no makeup’ make up look.

#IHM 2 is Naomi Campbell as I loved her recent work in the May anniversary issue of Vogue Brazil, and I love seeing supermodels attempting events in fashion as I feel they add a certain interest to these events. Plus the woman is an icon; she was the first black model on the cover of Vogue Paris.

#IHM 3 is going to be Alexa Chung in a sparkly, embellished black suit with slicked back hair. I adore seeing women in suits and this was so well fitting, and so her I can’t help but mention it. Excuse my fangirl.

#IHM 4 is going STRAIGHT to Poppy Delevinge because HER.DRESS. It was totally and utterly unappreciated, even in this piece I will acknowledge. She looked incredible, so so incredible and I feel like more of a fuss should have been made on her dress. However the Silver Surfers of the Met Gala took away her spotlight and I don’t like it. Please take a moment to be in awe of this.

#IHM 5 goes to Bella Hadid. She’s slowly becoming a long standing woman-crush of mine; she’s beautiful, sexy and is improving so much as her recent editorial work has shown. Out of all of the Insta-models I feel Bella really has something that isn’t uhm, connections and instead talent. Her Givenchy gown was a wow and she looked like a bombshell. I’ll stop myself now before I ramble on.

#IHM 6 goes tied to Lady Gaga for looking so Gaga, as well as wearing a corset made out of circuit boards. Very Fashion In Technology. Plus the shoes.

She ties with Karlie Kloss who basically shredded more layers and material as the night went on. I loved it. Plus !! No !! Silver !!

To conclude this Met Gala ramble and review; as much as I loved Claire Danes dress, I must admit it isn’t as incredible as it could have been. The possibilities with this theme were endless and mindblowing, but this is what stood out. A light up ball gown? There were more things I shook my head at (as well as saying “oh HELL no” but, details) than there was inspiring gowns. All in all, it appears the theme wasn’t attempted with as much vigour and inspiration as it could have been. I’m disappointed, there’s no escaping it.

But writing this review has been a lot of fun, and I’m giggling over the image of Rita Ora frantically searching on Etsy for a ‘Not Becky’ badge on a Sunday night pre-Met Gala.